Like many people, I started a Blog. I see so many others doing it I figure, why not me? I'm opinionated, outspoken, I can do that. And then of course, after a handful of blogs...I slack off. Or actually sort of fell off the face of the earth, to be more correct. Like most people...my life got busy.
Along with the business of my life, came some changes. Drastic ones actually. My blog use to be called "Real Moms Drink Wine" --I thought it was cute, catchy, funny. And ode to the new idea/picture of modern stay-at-home moms who spend all week caring for their children, their husbands, their homes...only to go out and get tanked on Friday nights with their girlfriends. It seems to become the new icon of American moms. There seems to have developed this idea of either the working mom or stay at home mom who is so devoted to her family, running around, perfectly polished yet frantic all at the same time. A woman who runs her home, runs her family...all of course at the moderate aide of her husband. But that portrays her as in charge, doing it all...so she deserves her drunken night in or out on the weekend.

It has become very clear the new image of the new millennium mom. It's on television...TV shows & ads, in movies, magazine ads, pop culture. It's everywhere. And I bought into it. Going through my own trials in life...some mild, some significant--possibly life changing. I began to look closer at this view of the modern American mom. Because she is sipping her spirits from a wine glass with perfect make up while playing board games with her family, does that some how make it better then knocking back a few shots of whisky? Because this mom is functioning well on her 3rd glass of wine while on her 'girls night out' at the restaurant...is that so different then pounding 3 shots of tequila at a night club? It came to me....no. It's all the same. Drinking is drinking. No matter how hard I worked and sacrificed during the week. Is that my excuse to get a good buzz on just because it's a weekend? Does my service as a Christian woman to my husband, to my children, to my community, to my God stop...just because it's the weekend? If I proclaim to be a Christian, in the most literal sense of the word...as in, I am a follower of Jesus Christ, He is my Lord, and as He is my Lord I will follow what He says --that is the instructions for my life laid out in the Bible. And there are many, many instances in the Bible in which drunkenness is warned against by my Lord.

Recently at my children's end of the school year award ceremony (in which my amazing children received multiple awards, I might add) -- a mom of my son's best friend, who I like very  much, made a comment about my Facebook posts on drinking. She was light-heartedly joking, but it stopped me in my mental tracks. 'Am I giving off the appearance of evil?' This is a woman, on my Facebook friends list. Who, in all honesty doesn't seem to spend nearly half the time on Facebook as I do (all of my family are out of state and I keep them up-dated on our lives through Facebook contact)...but even with her limited Facebook activity, she noticed my jokes and joke posts about drinking. Things I may find funny...even if I don't indulge all that often. It was an eye opener to me. As a self proclaimed Christian, how am I presenting myself to the public? The few people close to me, know full well I am just joking with I 'share' those ecard pictures with the funny punch lines --but those who only know me through my children...like their teachers, their friend's parents. What must they think of me, my household, my family-- I have always been very self confident. I have not since 9th grade been very concerned with what others thought of me. I feel blessed to have that. I have my standards and now my God, and I answer to them alone. But...now that my life is not just about myself but also about how I represent my husband, children and the Lord I follow to the world, I have become very aware of my shortcomings, flaws, and down right stupidity along these lines. In posting so many jokes and such about alcohol on my Facebook profile, I have been giving off a very un-Christian like, un-flattering picture of my family. A very un-flattering picture of our lives and how we live our lives. And I feel very convicted on that.

At my heart, I am a traditionalist. I believe that my place is in the home. My service is to my husband and my children, my home...my family at a whole. I believe that women entering the workforce is what disrupted the economy of this country, and now, most women do not have the option to stay at home with their children. They must work to help support their family. I believe that women entering the workforce made it easier for men to step out on their wives and develop affairs. I believe that women's liberation is to blame for most of what is wrong with America and our society today. Men may rule the world, but it is women who set the moral standards. And when American women became liberated and lost all morals to the point in which 'anything goes'...they destroyed the ideals of the 'American Family'.

Is internet talk cheating?

Hypothetical Scenario: So let's just say a woman is married to a man who works away from home 28 days out of the month. For years this man has been chatting with other women on dating sites, single sites. The talk is sexual and simple chit chat. Even has texted & mailed a few times, talking about going to movies, out to dinner...in addition to the dirty talk. If the wife truly believes it's all just been 'online'...is it cheating? Let's also throw in that every time this man is 'caught'...he is never apologetic and is a complete jerk about it. Angry and threatens to leave his family. That is his 'trump card' to get his wife off his back...because he is the sole supporter of the family & the wife truly has no ability to support her children on her own. And lets face it...child support is a joke. Men dodge that all the time, and let's just say that this man is the type who would do that and not pay a dime. And let's say this has been going on for 4 years, that the wife knows of...and every time after she finds out he is on dating sites, talking with other women...she has no choice but to go back to being pleasant...just so the husband doesn't follow through with his threats of leaving her and the kids in poverty....what do you think of this situation? What do you think of the woman? Is she a fool? Is she pathetic? Is she strong? What if I said that the young children were turning out phenomenally well. Let's just say this wife has done an extraordinary job at sheilding the children from most of the heartache this marriage causes, and the children are doing exceptionally well in school, socially they are kind, positive, happy children...and the wife is doing this so the children can grow up well, because leaving her husband would certainly put them below the poverty line. The children would have to give up their almost ideal childhood, have a single working mother...and all the statistical hardship that comes with that. Poverty has a horrific effect on children and their mental, emotional and social development. If the mother is willing to tough out this marriage, and keep her husband at all costs until the children are grown....what do you think of her?

Barney Frank, Massachusetts Congressman

Looking over the life, professional record & conduct of Barney Frank...even just the things he's been public about...I am very surprised this is an elected official in congress. He introduced a bill that would legalize prostitution (contained to a red light district only -that he wanted moved to Boston's financial district). Then in 85' he hired a male prostitute, (statistically speaking, this was... assuredly not the only time he has done this) - which they then became friends & he later hired as a personal assistant. I am not outraged about the fact that this congressman is gay. I honestly couldn't care less. But it seems evident to me that this man's sexual orientation has had a huge impact on the issues he works to promote in congress. Are there seriously no greater issues in Massachusetts then things that revolve around sex??? Are you kidding me???
Am I the only one who feels that so many of the people running our country are to wrapped up in their own personal life drama that they can't effectivly run a country? No matter if it's financial scams to line their pockets further, or affairs, or questionable life styles (like a congressman who hires prostitutes - because the last time I checked, that was still illegal)... I feel like over the past few decades...the men running our country are nothing but spoiled little boys, living very well off our tax dollars...not doing much of anything for anyone but themselves. Are the elected officials of our nation so wrapped up in greed & sex that they can't think of anything else? It would seem so. (I have ideas on as to why this is...but it's not the point of this particular rant). Are there no more men of integrity & standards of conduct anymore? Is there no one out there who truly believes in 'we the people'? Is there no one who would even try to at least tilt our country back in the direction it was intended?
It kills me...but over the past few years, I have very quickly lost all hope in our country. This is truly painful to me. Me, being the eternal optimist...to give up on something I so once believed in just hurts. I guess our citizenship truly is in heaven...and I really do have to learn how to fully embrace that reality.

Summer Vacation is here!!!

 I love summer. It is my absolute favorite season. I love that me & my kids get to play all day. For what ever reason, I feel intense pressure to squeeze in as much fantabulous fun into the 12 weeks my children are out of school. This summer is a bit different for me. Up until now, at least one of my children were only in school 3 hours a day. This coming school year, they will be in school ALL day long! I am very sure I will enjoy the personal break for the first couple of months. I can tackle little projects around the house I don't typically get to do when the kids are home. I am however wondering if I will have a little bit of the 'empty nest' syndrome, especially after the holidays. So, I feel the need to make this summer extra extraordinary! Vacation(s), amusement park passes, zoo passes, pool passes, trips to the lake, trips to other water parks, fun-fun-fun & go-go-go!!! I want to make this summer one my kids will never forget. I guess with one child going into 1st grade & the other going into 2nd...although there is still plenty of childhood ahead of them, I am painfully aware of how fast my little treasures are growing up. I wish I could stop time. I wish I could make this summer last forever. I want to remember this time in their childhoods forever...because right now, my children seem so blissfully & utterly perfect! Still so innocent. Still oblivious to most of the woes of the world. They are just such happy children. I don't want to ever let this time go...

Ridiculous School Rules....1st graders having to "pay" to pee...

I became very aware in the beginning of this school year that the school 'charges' children to use the restroom if they have to go to the bathroom aside from their designated potty breaks (during recess & lunch). My daughter has mild bladder issues that her doctor said is common for children her age and she will simply out grow it. She recently turned 7 years old. She simply has to go a little more frequently then average. I made the teacher & her assistant aware of this right away, they said it would not be a problem to let my daughter use the bathroom as needed. My daughter is a VERY well behaved child. A little shy...but she does everything she's told & follows the rules even when her friends do not. She was made student of the month last year in kindergarten & was 1 of only 6 kindergartners to receive the "Tiger Challenge Award". An award given for over all outstanding performance for the entire school year.

The other day, my daughter came to me crying after school. The teacher's assistant made her pay 5 'tiger tokens' to use the bathroom. Tiger tokens are pretend cash dollars that the children earn for good behavior, doing their homework, following the rules, etc. It's a reward system the school has set up. The kids love it! Every month, they get to go to the school store & 'buy' items with their tiger tokens. It's a big deal for the kids. To the younger ones, it's like having real money & it's great because they have to earn it.

Side Bar: Last year in part-day kindergarten, my daughter was deathly shy. She was too embarassed to even raise her hand to ask the teacher to use the bathroom & almost every single day would come home with wet pants. She wouldn't have a full-out "accident". But she would 'leak' from holding it the entire time she was in school. She would be embarassed when she was a little 'wet' & it made her even more shy & sometimes not want to participate in activities at school...because she was afraid the other kids would know she wet herself a little. On top of it, she was getting frequent bladder infections & UTI's from 'holding it' all day long. The teacher was wonderful & worked with me to help her over come this shyness. One day in March, her kindertarten teacher told me she raised her hand to use the bathroom. From then on, she never had a problem, or another bladder infection or UTI again!

Back to 1st Grade: So...after coming in from recess, my daughter raised her hand to use the bathroom. The teacher's assistant told my daughter it would cost her 5 tiger tokens. My daughter said "do you remember my mommy talked to you...?" The teacher's assistant told her if she can't wait to go to the bathroom, it will cost you 5 tiger tokens. My daughter got up, got a 5 dollar tiger token...tore it in half, & gave it to the teacher. Then went potty.

Side Bar 2: I am actually very proud of my daughter for tearing up the tiger dollar before giving it to the teacher. My daughter is usually so shy & such a push over, this was the first time she has ever stood up to someone. And I'm glad. She knew she was being wronged. And she let the teacher know. Good for her!

Return to 1st Grade: The teachers did not tell me that suddenly, out of the blue...even though I had spoken to them months ago about her minor bladder issues...and for the past 4 1/2 months everything was fine. Then one day, this teacher is having a bad day...and suddenly goes back on our arrangement without any warning to me or my daughter?

First of all the policy is ridiculous. I understand they are trying to prevent children being in the halls when they should be in class. But you can't punish a child if they have to use the restroom. You shouldn't take away a reward the child has earned through good behavior, simply because they have to go to the bathroom. The assistant teacher herself said to me today "...atleast I didn't tell her she couldn't go. I've had to tell some kids no..." Is it even legal to deny a child the right to use the restroom in a public school? I understand they don't want children playing around, etc...but for heaven sakes! The few children that may not do exactly what they are told & dilly-dally in the halls some times shouldn't be given the power to turn an elementary school in to nazi Germany! These are 6 & 7 year old little children! Let them use the bathroom when they need to go! Why not put a sign up sheet with their names on it by the door, have them put a check mark next to their names when they have to use the bathroom. If it becomes a problem of a child seeming to be going to often...maybe ask the parents if there is a problem. If not...then when the child asks if he/she has to use the bathroom...ask them if they can wait until lunch or recess....but if they say no, don't punish them for having to pee!

So...after having a heck of a day running around, talking with people, having my daughter's doctor fax over a letter, etc...it comes down to the school granting my daughter 'special permission' to use the bathroom when needed. Why the heck does a 7 year old need special permission to use the bathroom....it's 1st grade!!! I feel like the school is making a bigger deal about this then me. I just want my child to be able to pee without being punished??? What is the big deal? It's crazy!

I feel like elementary schools have become ridiculously over regulated institutions.

11/23/11

The day before Thanksgiving. As I bake multiple pies, I can't help but smile. I am very happy at the role of housewife and mother I was born to fill. Most of my life I fought against it. Today's society seems to imply that a stay-at-home mother is lazy or has no ambition to do anything significant with her life. In my opinion, there is nothing more important then raising your children well & taking care of your family. God created woman to be a man's help meet. It takes a strong woman to submit to her husband...to fight against her own ego and pride. Even the best men in the world are only human, and are prone to sin, error, mistakes, bad choices. But if you trust in God, then you trust where He has placed you in this life. Man needed a help meet. God created woman to fill that role. Women complete the man. Submissive doesn't mean less important, it just means there has to be one captain of the ship. It has been shown time and time again through society's history that more then one boss in any situation never works out. It always leads to strife, discord and often underlying bitterness and resentment. Someone has to have the final say. I truly believe a woman's place is in the home. Not just for the enormous economic & societal benefits...but I feel confident that if women accepted the roles they were born to fill, women themselves would find true peace and happiness

9/11/11

I posted a photo of me riding the ferry back to NYC from governors island - notice the twin towers in the back ground. I went up to the top of one of them that night...if I knew it would be for the last time I would have made an effort to remember which one I was in.

10 years ago today I was living in Modesto California. My roommate called me & said "turn on the TV the whole worlds gone mad!" At that point in time, the news was reporting that a plane flew into the tower. I figured it was just some freak accident. Some sort of mechanical failure in the plane. Then I watched as the 2nd plane ran into the other tower. Then I was thinking WTF!?!

Nothing anyone will ever say can convince me that this wasn't orchestrated in at least part by members of our own government. However...it doesn't take away from the tragedy of almost 3,000 people dying that day...it only adds to it.

Nonetheless...I am happy I still have this photo.